I AM MOTHER who grows dreams in my belly
From my blood drinks the Tree of Life
Rooted in heaven until the birth quake
Splits me open in revelation and relief
And I awake from the nightmare of separation.
When I was a young, like most little girls I was often asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. Although I had myriad answers depending on the vogue at the time: ballerina, gymnast, photojournalist (yes, I actually said this in a paper I wrote once) the unequivocal primary answer was, “I just want to be a mother.”
And I am. It’s essential to my being.
Like a lot of mothers who write, when stories are born in my head they often have to do with things my children have done or said in my every day life. Long ago I learned the beauty of the resonance in families and the wonderful quality of having My Beloveds reflect back to me things that really matter. They say we’re all mirrors for each other and in my direct experience the mother-child relationship is one of the purest mirrors there is.
It’s inevitable then, that you’ll meet Best Birthday Gift Ever aka Rainbow Space Queen, Elder Sun, Dazzling Daughter, and Nuclear Sun. No doubt there will be many references to them in my posts. Being their mother has given the strongest purpose to my life any individual could hope for. And it’s yielded the most joyful awarenesses and lessons.
After being told by doctors after The Big Bang in 1985 not to ever get pregnant I resolved to make my own choices according to my own inner truth and guidance.
And so I did. I am mother.
*Excerpt from Preface to I AM MOTHER – The Unfolding Lap. First published in Midwifery Today, Summer Issue 2005 © Jeannine Parvati Baker